Prom Night for Charlotte
Vikki Horner
Prom Night for Charlotte
Horner V. Prom Night for Charlotte. Down Syndrome News and Update. 2006;6(1);8-9.
doi:10.3104/essays.373
It's hard to believe that my Charlotte is now 16 years old and here we are –
it's time for the PROM!
It was such a happy occasion marking the end of formal education and the
beginning of a new chapter in her life. The house was filled with excitement.
The girls singing and giggling, are upstairs getting ready. Beautiful hair –
curling and straightening tongs lay on the carpet like coiled snakes, their duty
done. Polished nails with matching glossy toes. The music from her sister
Emily's band – Cool Billy – had no boundaries, finding its way into my office
TWO flights down. Proud Grannies, parents and friends filled the garden in an
attempt to capture the mood on camera. Then the limousine arrived. The girls
came out looking stunningly beautiful and waved to neighbours who had lined the
streets to cheer. I was so proud I could burst! I smiled, as I saw my excited,
bonny sixteen year old, confidently climb into the 'limo' with her friends. She
waved and just like Cinderella, she did go to the ball…… During the evening
Charlotte rang me to say she was having a fantastic time. At 11.30 p.m. the
limousine drew up outside my door, filled to capacity with local girls and boys
glad to have had a lift back to Mere in style! Charlotte and her girl friends
still had that excited glow when they went up the stairs to bed to continue, no
doubt through the night, to recount all the magic of their special evening…..
Did I think we would ever get to this point?? If I think back to Charlotte's
birth then my answer would have to be that I didn't. I didn't dare to imagine or
believe that such things would be so… normal? Thinking about the beginning of
our journey, I knew nothing about Down syndrome and so life back then was filled
with uncertainties, heartache and unknowns. Like other parents, I learnt about
her disability, have fought numerous battles and overcome many obstacles along
the way in pursuing Charlotte's educational and developmental needs. My biggest
fear (which began the day she was born) was concerning what the future might
hold for my little girl? You see, I had very real ideas, 'seeing' endless
possibilities and opportunities for Emily, then, my lively two year old
daughter, but each time I tried to 'see' into the future for Charlotte – it was
like doing a jigsaw puzzle where I couldn't make any of the pieces fit.
Of course looking back, I know that my thoughts were very much tainted by a
casual comment made by a social worker who came to talk to us as we waited for
the outcome of an operation Charlotte underwent a week after she was born. "As
an adult she will have the mental age of a seven year old, and well… you would
let a seven year old go to the shop on her own wouldn't you!" Upon hearing this
I burst into floods of tears. (I am sure she meant well at the time). However,
her words have never left me, and have been instrumental and strangely
motivational in my efforts to teach Charlotte throughout the past sixteen years.
I held on tenaciously to the idea that like every other child, she would make
her own future in the present. My uncertainties were replaced by practicalities,
the unknowns replaced with determination, and the heartache began to heal with
each tiny progressive step Charlotte took. I found myself being more reassured
by the happiness and joy that filled my busy daily life each time I looked at my
two little girls.
Early intervention played a vital part where many routines were established
laying the foundation for all future learning. I was continuously searching for
resources or making things that provided stimulation and were fun things to do.
Behaviour was given a high priority. At school I fought for Charlotte to
experience the same opportunities offered to her peers. Where she showed a need
for some form of support, if I couldn't do it, 'I found a man who can'. One step
at a time, building on what she could do, never losing sight of the long term
goal – some form of independence in adulthood.
It was like stitching a patchwork quilt. Each square had to be worked on
individually and in isolation before moving on to the next. The squares, side by
side, displayed a disconnected array of shapes, and the size and scope of what
was required seemed endless, all requiring hope, patience and love, but it was
my thread that anchored it all with determination and expectation, not minding
how long it would take (only Charlotte could steer that) but get there she
would. I saw my role as providing repetition, reinforcement, and over-learning.
I learned to be patient and provided oodles of love. How many of us have gone
over things that seemed like we had done something a thousand times and thought
she is never going to get there?? Then suddenly she does….
Memories of our first 'short-term goals' flood in…..
- - There she was sitting on the school bus for her first day at the village
school. Her beaming smile seemed to shout out "look mummy I'm here too!"
- - The first school outing at aged 9 was an anxious time for me. After one whole
week away without any contact, there she was descending the steps of the bus
grinning confidently…..
- - "What time is it Mum? What time is it?"… Designing materials to help Charlotte
tell the time, requiring a bridge that transferred successfully to the basic
clock face. (The Charlotte Clock www.mathsextra.com).
- - The keyboard with the lighted keys arrived for Christmas three years ago.
Initially used as a rather expensive CD player! Piano lessons followed which
incorporated twice yearly concerts by students…. There I was sitting in the
audience at the first concert watching Charlotte as she performed her first
piece, Jingle Bells, in front of parents and friends.
- - The onset of the teenage years – which began with the announcement "I'm a
teenager and that means that I can do what I like!"
- - GCSE year and study leave – sitting her exams like her peers, now completed,
drawing this chapter to a close….
I have come to realise that for me, my journey so far, has taught me that having
high expectations is crucial, behaviour and discipline is paramount. (It is easy
to over compensate when a child has a disability). Exposure to as many
opportunities and experiences are as important as they are for our other
children. As a sub-skill, or skill is mastered I actively encourage my daughter
to do it by herself, and create opportunities for her to practise, practise,
practise, what ever is emerging or learnt. This continuously builds small
measures of independence, confidence and self esteem. What ever we do I work
TOWARDS age appropriate behaviour to assist developing levels of maturity. The
job never ends, the content changes, but the philosophy extends to every area of
her life.
September opens the next chapter, as Charlotte moves on to Yeovil College where
she is looking forward to participating in the Drama class. She will continue
her core subjects – Maths, English, IT, and Life Skills developing more
practical skills for adult life. She is looking forward to wearing cool clothes,
making new friends, which, I am told, includes boy friends and, broadening her
horizons. All in all, isn't life full of surprises…
Vikki has actively contributed to Charlotte's development, especially for
numeracy. She is passionate about helping children develop maths skills which
include learning to tell the time and handling money. Vikki currently advises
and provides training using Stern's Structural Arithmetic. She can be contacted
on: 01747 861 503 or at vikki.horner@mathsextra.com